No-Prah's Non-Giveaway

Remember last year my fake sister Qwendy and I did Faux-prah's favorite things giveaway?  That was fun.  She asked me if I wanted to participate again this year and I said, "No.".  I am so busy right now, I barely squeeze in a shower these days, much to Kitty's chagrin.  She yells, "TAKE A SHOWER!" at me multiple times each day.  She has no appreciation for my natural musk.

If you read Qwendy's blog (and you should) you will know that she has been living the Year of Yes which means she is saying yes to things she might have turned down other years.  And she has had so many incredible experiences as a result.

I, conversely, am living the Year of No...  And occasionally, the Year of Not Just No, But Hell No.  Because, I find myself becoming a cantankerous old bat, and GET OFF MY LAWN.  I am having to say no to some things I don't want to do, but even quite a few things that I wish I could do, but just can't squeeze in.

I worry that this confession makes me sound like a greedy, lazy turd face.  I could try to justify my busy-ness this year or explain my tiredness, but honestly...  I'm a greedy, lazy turd face.

I love you.  I should do a giveaway to say Thank You for reading this stupid blog, but then the winner's package would probably sit on the kitchen counter for six months until I finally ripped it open and pilfered the salted caramels inside.  Because this year all I want, night and day, are salted caramels.  I had some at book club last month and I cannot stop thinking about them.   My theory is that perhaps they were sprinkled with crack rather than salt.

I suppose it isn't polite to tell you about the things I am not going to give away. If I knew where to find those magical crack caramels, I would definitely not give them to you.   I would not give them to my family, either.   I would devour them alone in my room and hide the empties in my closet.

Look for me on Intervention next season.

But, why don't you head over to Qwendy's blog to enter her giveaway?  I hope you win!