Motherhood
Lydia is sick with her second fever in a week, and miserable. After her bottle, she fell asleep curled into my chest like she used to as a newborn, so many months ago. Maybe for the last time?
So, I am trying to fix the memory in my mind.
Her small, fuzzy head lightly covered with white blonde hair.
Her hot little body, rising and falling with each breath.
Her flushed cheeks.
Her sweet breath on my skin.
Her little fist gripping the neck of my shirt, wanting to keep me close.
She will never be this small again. I will never have another child. This chapter is closing much too quickly. After 12 years and 5 children, my baby days are dwindling.
I won't have many more of these moments, but I know that the new moments will be just as sweet. Each child was a gift. Each baby was loved with a breathless ferocity that I never wanted to forget, didn't believe I could forget, and didn't realize I had until I felt it again with the next child and remembered, "Yes, I have felt this before." I have loved each life so much that my soul ached.
And I hope I never forget.
And I hope I never forget.
You're such a wonderful mom Mary and you have such beautiful children! Why are you stopping?? :)
What a precious post. Your children are so fortunate to have you for a mom. :)
Genie
In a few blinks of time, your babies will be all grown up and living their own lives. They will begin to have their own babies. You will hold them and all those feelings will come flooding back. Only then, you get the added bonus of watching your children feel what you do right now.
*tear*
that was beautiful
Beautiful thoughts Mary.
I'm in your shoes, and feel the same way, yet your post put a magnifying glass over those tender feelings that you forget when your children are tearing around the chapel, barking like dogs, so thanks for the reminder:)
Have you ever read "Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury. It's about all those little moments that we never realize went away. Those last naps, last tests, last moments before college, etc. I cried so hard the first several times I read it to my son. He thought I was nuts and would ask me to read "that book that makes you cry". He just asked me to read it again a week ago and yet again after reading it over and over for 4 years, I still tear up....
Kelly, I haven't ever heard of that book. Is it a children's book? I will have to look it up, although it sounds like the sortmakeshift that will make me cry my eyes out. ha!
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