About the Lyme

To follow up on my last post, I need to say thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, emails, and experiences you have shared with me. I appreciate them more than I can say.

Lyme is a serious disease. It is hard to cure, it is miserable to treat, and I believe it is much more common than what medical professionals claim. It is across the entire nation. Most people have no memory of being bitten by a tick. Most people don't notice the bullseye rash.

My midwife was the one to suggest I might have Lyme disease, and I didn't really think too much about it, initially. She told me the lyme test (ELISA) that I had been given is very inaccurate and suggested I should have the Western blot test done. I decided that I would rule out Lyme before starting the interferon injections my neurologist prescribed for me.

I have never noticed a tick on me, and I never had a bullseye rash. I didn't think Lyme was likely, but figured it was best to rule it out.

My neurologist really encouraged me to start on interferon because I had "two very significant relapses". He told me it was safe to use while breastfeeding, but I never felt comfortable with that. Every time I would see the literature for my prescription, I would feel sick to my stomach. Almost a feeling of doom. Maybe doom is too strong a word? But the thought that always accompanied that feeling was "Do not take that stuff". So, I kept putting it off.

Finally, at six months postpartum I decided I needed to start treating my MS, but decided I would get the Western blot test done first. I made an appointment with a naturopath that my midwife works with. Before my appointment, I decided to research Lyme. Because I was still pretty sure I didn't have it. Specifically, I wanted to know if Lyme can cause lesions on the brain. It does. Next, I checked to see if my list of neurological symptoms matched Lyme's (numbness, tingling, dizziness, weakness, etc.). And they did.

Then I started praying. I needed to know if this was the right path to go down. And as I continued to research, I started to remember little problems and symptoms I have been having for years and never paid attention to. Things that have bothered me for a long time, but I have never sought medical attention for. Pain in my wrist that I first noticed after having Kitty, aching in my knee that had been going on for years... And started in Pennsylvania. A funny rash I got on my face while pregnant with Jane... And all the pieces started to come together like a puzzle.

A couple months after arriving in Pennsylvania, a group of us went mountain biking. And some time after that, I noticed a raised, red oval rash on my forehead near my temple. It lasted over a week. I thought my skin was going crazy from the change in humidity from Utah to PA. Within about six months, I started having arthritis in my knee. My sensitivity to chemicals, drugs (like how getting nitrous at the dentist office makes me completely stoned for an hour after the gas has been turned off), lights, sounds, my constantly runny nose, stuff that I thought was just how my weird body worked . Or didn't work, as the case may be.

By the time I met the doctor for the blood test, I was already convinced we had found the answer. Something inside me is almost screaming out, "YOU HAVE LYME DISEASE!!". I have felt, since my diagnosis with MS, small, quiet nudgings. Soft little messages saying that I would be healed. And I wanted them to be true, but always questioned the thoughts. Because there is no cure for MS. And while I wanted to believe I could be healed, and I did believe... I do believe. -- I know God is bigger than MS or ALS or anything else I could have been diagnosed with... I wanted to believe those feelings, but I was afraid to at the same time.

I believe them now. The road to healing is going to suck, but I am going to get better. I know some people in my life are worried that I am getting my hopes up without a proper diagnosis. There really is no doubt in my mind, at this point. I don't get the results of the Western blot back until the first week of February. I don't know if they will be positive for Lyme, but I know that I am positive for Lyme.

I know somehow this will all resolve. It is one of the most powerful emotions I have ever had. I just know. I KNOW. It is like every cell in my body is crying out, "YES, you have Lyme disease! Now can you get these little freakers out of here already? They are screwing everything up!".

I will of course keep you updated about this. Probably more than you want to be. I have a one track mind these days... It is all Lyme all the time. Hopefully, I will soon be able to focus on other things, too.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.
Mary